Here at A Lovely Pint Of Brown we aim to give you all the information you need to decide where you will enjoy your ale. The questions should give you all the information you need as to decide whether to visit a pub to drink some ale or to just go someplace else.
"How does it feel?" Is aimed to help you understand the general atmosphere of the place. For example, words like comfortable, warm, welcoming are good here. If you read words like frightening or nightclub you may consider going elsewhere.
"Did they serve you ale in a glass?" Obviously an affirmative is a Good Thing. You just can't enjoy a Lovely Pint Of Brown if they serve lager exclusively. Ale without a glass is a Bad Thing.
"Salty snacks/pickled eggs?" We know you might fancy a snack with your Brown, so this should help you out. Tastes vary, we know that...but generally salty snacks and pickled eggs are what you'll be after. Even better a salt snack-egg combo. Mmmm delicious. If eggs are on offer they will be reviewed. A bad egg is a bad egg after all.
"Will you be sad to leave?" All good things come to an end, and at some point you'll have to leave the comfort (hopefully) of the Ale House and go off someplace else. We hope that this section will help to give you an idea of how this will affect you. Obviously there are many factors that will affect this, not just how much you've enjoyed your visit. Where you're going next is one of them, and the Landlord simply can't be expected to provide for this. For example if you were off to London to see Queeny, you might be excited rather than sad to leave. (If this ever happens, you'll be first to know.)
"Rating (out of 7)" We hope to sum up the overall enjoyment of your visit here. Will a seven ever be achieved? That is a very high standard, and every Landlord should aim high! Of course a rating out of seven supports and even encourages a sitting-on-the-fence score of 4. Some pubs are simply mediocre, with a yen-like balance of good and bad. This is not a Bad Thing, and needs to be accounted in the rating.
As good a pub review site as A Lovely Pint Of Brown is, sadly we are not a Time Machine. The pubs are reviewed fairly at the time each post is published. Pubs atmosphere, ale, and service change as we all know. If a subsequent visit to a pub leads to a different review, you'll be updated. If necessary, the fallen will be added to the Pub Graveyard to allow quiet reflection on what once was, and what has been lost.
